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The News Quiz insults Accountants

On 18 May 2018 panellist Jeremy Hardy on Radio 4's News Quiz commented on negative press comment about big 4 firms of accountants, This was in the context of the failure of Carillion.

He suggested that Carillion is what you might call a number that’s a million times higher than a number any sane person would think of. And added: 

"I’m a bit jealous that there are high rolling accountants. Mine’s quite lacklustre in comparison to that lot. 
I just give him a carrier bag full of receipts and he keeps me out of prison. That’s all that happens."

There was a later reference to a phrase in a select committee report “Carillion was brought down by a combination of recklessness, hubris and greed”

Which prompted fellow panellist Simon Evans to respond: "Recklessness, Hubris and Greed sounds like a good name for the accountants".

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Are you a prostitute or are you an auditor?

1. You work very odd hours.

2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.

3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.

4. You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.

5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.

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7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.

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12. People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.

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14. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.

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The comedian Ken Dodd, was prosecuted for tax evasion in 1989 as has been mentioned on this blog before, here and here. I'd love to find a clip of him talking about it in his act. For now though here are a couple of references to comments he makes about the experience.

He is known to introduce himself as a “failed accountant”. That, he explains, is simply to establish a rapport with the audience. “People today are all stressed out about home economics, and accountants are the current bogeymen. [Since when?]

Dodd is the butt of a lot of his material and repeated references are made to his love of money, his dislike of what he insists on calling the Inland Revenue and his past run-in with them. “They sent me a self-assessment form the other day. To me! I invented self-assessment.”

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