You know you need a new accountant when....

Your Accountant begins the initial interview with "When I was in prison..."

After completing your tax return showing a balance due of £3,000, your Accountant asks for it in cash.

You see Your Accountant on TV. On Crimewatch

Your Accountant thinks "amortizstion" is Italian for "making love".

Every time you visit Your Accountant in his office, he's smoking a joint.

Your Accountant tells you "You probably won't go to jail for this, but..."

Your Accountant is also a Lawyer, and he's representing your wife in the divorce proceedings.

Your Accountant tells you he hasn't filed his own tax return in years

Your Accountant seems to have a cold all year long....and powder residue on his desk

Your Accountant insists that children are legal tender