New taxes post Brexit

Here are some of the new taxes proposed to me when I asked for suggestions:

Richard StClair  - One rat pelt for every five rats caught for food must go to the crown

David Spottie Rogerson - A £10 fee on cutting devices used to behead amphibian animals. This is the one of very few newt axes the public will accept.

Rob Fox New levies on : French bread, Brussels sprouts, hamburgers, frankfurters, Irish coffee, Swedish chefs, Spanish onions, Greek olives, bulgar wheat, Dutch windmills, Danish bacon, Venetian blinds, Portuguese men'o'war ......

Chris M Boots A €1 tax on everyone who starts a sentence 'when we were in the EU' or 'before Brexit'.

Thomas Gardiner A tax on dating apps - the tax could increase with usage

Jerry Breslin Red carpet tacks for filmstars

A few English pedants also made suggestions, with which I have some sympathy

Mike Pearce So a tax on every person that starts a sentence with the word so and ends it with a rising inflection in their speech.

Kevin Chapman A tax should be payable by anyone who ends the words "something", anything" or "nothing" with a K

Margaret Bloomer Tax people who use the word 'like' every other word.

John Richardson Can I suggest an hyperbole tax? Special rates for those who use “super” instead of “very”; “life changing” instead of moderately useful etc

One of my favourites:
Kevin Chapman Charge VAT on footballer transfer fees at 40% then use it to pay nurses a decent wage.

And thank you too to Paul Coats for his related suggestion that:
Leaves means leave, where, unless you tidy up the fallen leaves around your town in the autumn, the local council can pack you off to Albania as an economic refugee.