10 ways to know you're an accountant

 You know you're an accountant when.....

.....Friends always ask YOU to divide the restaurant bill and the tip.
.....Tipping a waiter makes you wonder who is acting as the troncmaster.
.....You are always expected to be the one controlling the fund for office sweepstakes, lottery and fantasy football syndicates.
.....Strangers sidle up to you at parties and ask "How do I pay less tax?"
.....You can repeat all the HMRC 'on hold' messages word-perfectly.
.....You are annoyed when you see journalists giving inaccurate tax advice

.....When you pop into an independent retail outlet you wonder how much profit they make.

.....You refuse to buy certain products retail because you know how big the sales margin is.
.....You have quoted certain tax cases so often you know how to spell the obscure names involved (eg: Mallalieu v Drummond) 
.....You count an unnumbered list like this one to check whether it really contains 10 items.