Tips for new managing partners

 A new managing partner was about to be appointed at a large accountancy firm.

His predecessor met with him privately and presented him with three large numbered envelopes. “Keep these in your desk drawer and open them in order as and when you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve,” he said.

Things went along pretty smoothly, but after six months, a number of key partners resigned and the new managing partner started to take some flak. At his wits end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to the drawer and took out the first envelope.

The message read, “Blame your predecessor.” The new managing partner called a Partners meeting and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous managing partner.

About a year later, the firm's profits had dipped and partner drawings had to be reigned back.  Having learned from his previous experience, the managing partner quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, “Blame your management committee.” This he did and a couple of members of the committee duly stood down and were replaced.

The firm’s fortunes quickly started to improve again. After a while however the firm was once again experiencing problems as a couple of their largest clients moved to a competitor firm.

The managing partner went to his desk and removed the third envelope. The message inside read, “Prepare three envelopes.”

Spare a thought for your accountant (poem)

Spare a thought for your accountant

He’s trying to do his best

To earn a decent living

Just like all the rest

Doing all that double entry’s

Not as easy as it looks

It takes years and years of practice

To cook a set of books

But when the debits and the credits

Don’t add up quite as they should

Staring at the door or window

Doesn’t do a lot of good

It’s said two things are sure in life

Death and taxes are the pair

But one more fact is certain

Your accountant’s thinning hair!

The tax rules alter constantly

He struggles to keep pace

Tax, NI and VAT

Etch deep lines in his face

And even when the job is done

The client may not pay

So your accountant’ll keep a’counting

Until retirement day

Written by David Marston

How valuable is an accountant's experience?

In 2017 I wrote an article for AccountingWeb about how to thrive in your 50s.  I was responding to a letter sent by ICAS to members and which appeared to suggest that the over 50s are over the hill!

One commentator on my article posed the following question by way of analogy:

If you were ever in the unfortunate position of needing brain surgery would you prefer:
A) the whizz kid age 27 who knows computers like the back of his hand? or
B) the 62 year old with many years experience in the game?

This drew the inevitable response from a frustrated small practitioner:

My experience suggests most will opt for: 

C) the cheapest butcher. 

I am sure this will resonate with many accountants in practice.

GAAP - Are you sure you know what it means?

 Strictly speaking GAAP stands for Generally Accepted Accounting Principles but I prefer the suggestion that GAAP is the difference between accounting theory and accounting practice.

Or could it stand for one of the following?

Greatly Anticipated Auditing Performance
or
Grossly Aggressive Accountant's Punches
or
Gently Activating Accountant's Pencil
or
Generally Accidental Accounting Practices

Can you suggest any others?

How to upset an accountant using 7 words (or fewer)

Can we make this disappear?

I'll do the bookkeeping myself

The ad said the software does it 

Nope, no business bank account

Your fees are too high

Here's my shoebox

I checked this in an online forum

Those meals were for business purposes

Dave said it's ok to claim this

Can you get my tax bill down?

What am I paying you for?

What does reconcile really mean?

Let it go. No one will know.

Can you forget I told you that? 

How much if I pay you in cash?