The 10 commandments for clients of accountants

1. You shall have no other advisers beyond me

2. You shall not make for yourself any graven image of a tax inspector to throw darts at.

3. You shall not take the name of the Chancellor in vain (more than once a week)

4. Remember the 31st of January to keep it holy. If you have not saved up to pay your tax by then, you may as well rest on that day.

5. Honour your accountant and tax adviser, who are doing a very good job for you.

6. You shall not murder or evade tax (but avoidance is ok - sometimes).

7. You shall not commit adultery – because marriage is tax efficient.

8. You shall not steal or hide cash offshore.

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour, unless your neighbour is a benefits thief or a Lord who has defrauded the public.

10. You shall not covet your neighbour’s personal services company, family trust or low tax bill (as YOUR circumstances are different!)