When the taxman chases the recently departed

A few weeks after Bernie died, his sister, Susie, intercepted a letter sent to him by HMRC. It was a request for a tax return.

Susie took the letter to her accountant who, after asking a few questions, suggested she reply as follows and pp the letter 'from Bernie (deceased)':

One of the advantages of having died is that there is no tax in heaven. It's a beautiful place. When I was alive I paid tax through the PAYE system and had not had any direct dealings with the taxman for many years. I can't say I'm that fussed about the outstanding return as I had no unearned income and left very little in the way of an inheritance for my sole living relative, my sister. Also, such matters seem so mundane since my recent demise. I might add that I have not yet met anyone from HMRC up here!

How to persuade the taxman your dog is a tax deductible business expense

Many years ago a publican had a meeting with a tax inspector in his pub. The publican had been claiming tax relief in respect the upkeep of his 'guard dog' but the taxman was unwilling to concede that this was acceptable.

The publican pointed out that upstairs in the pub were both the dog and the lunchtime takings. He invited the taxman to go upstairs, on his own, and if the taxman returned with the takings the publican would agree to add back the disputed expenses.

The taxman refused to go upstairs and allowed the expense in full.

My thanks to Barry Jefford of George Hay, Chartered Accountants, for the story which was told to him by his client, being the publican in question.

Valentine messages for the accountant in your life

Debits are left
Credits are right
When I looked at you
Love at first sight.

----

I’d adjust any entry
To keep us aligned,
Because in the ledger of love,
You’re one of a kind.

----

Without you, my life would be like a one-sided journal entry - unbalanced and incomplete.

----

Let’s capitalise on our love and carry it forward forever.

----

Roses are red
Violets are blue
My heart’s net profit
Will always be you.

Popular Google searches about tax

Listed below are some of the suggestions from Google based on popular searches 

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