- Mr and Mrs Lentry, and their daughter Deb
- Mr and Mrs Itor, and their daughter Aud
- The Preciation family and their dipsomaniac daughter Dee, whose balance is always reducing and who never seems to go in a straight line...
- The twin Entrybookkeeping brothers - it's double Entrybookkeeping
- Mrs Ternalaudit and her son Ian (her divorced husband, couldn't make it. He's her Ex)
- Mr and Mr Trolacount and their son Con.
- From Germany, Mr & Mrs Inkind and their son Benny Fitz
- Mr and Mrs Quidasset and their son Lee
- All the way from Bermuda, Mr and Mrs Haven and their son Tex
- Mr and Mrs Payedtax and their adopted Korean son Un
- Mr and Mrs Taxation preferred not to be announced as late. They asked if their arrival could be described as 'deferred'.
- Finally, please welcome Mr and Mrs Prophet with their daughter Annette, and their tall son nicknamed Grows.
Hundreds of stories, jokes, videos, anecdotes, links and quotes relating to accountants, accountancy and tax related topics. If you've got something that makes you laugh - do send it in to mark@bookmarklee.co.uk
Friday, August 22, 2025
Late arrivals at the Accountants' Awards dinner
Friday, August 15, 2025
10 alternative Job Titles for Accountants
- Anxiety Transfer Expert – because your panic is our spreadsheet
- Business Continuity Practitioner – making sure your cash flow doesn’t flatline
- Numbers Facilitator – like a counsellor, but with pivot tables
- Finance Doctor – diagnosis: terminally overdrawn
- Money Multiplier – no rabbits, just receipts
- MANIAC (Money And Numbers Inspector And Counter) – the acronym that audits itself
- Cash Whisperer – fluent in the secret language of HMRC and petty cash
- Revenue Therapist – tell me where it hurts (and show me the P&L)
- The Profit Prophet – we see margin in your future
- Cash Flow Curator – we don’t create liquidity, we just make it look nice
Friday, August 08, 2025
The Plumber & the Self-Assessment Saga
Plumber: “Right, be honest — how bad is it if I’ve not done any bookkeeping since last April?”
Accountant: “Bad. But fixable. Like a leaky tap.”
Plumber: “What if it’s a full-blown burst pipe situation?”
Accountant: “Then I charge emergency call-out rates. Only joking. Mostly.”
Plumber: “Fair. I’ve clogged up the admin. Time to flush it out.”
Friday, August 01, 2025
Tell me you're an accountant without telling me you're an accountant…
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I can’t relax in a cafĂ© if I can see the till is open too long.
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My friends think “a quick tax question” is an acceptable start to any conversation.
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I once said “that’s disallowable” out loud during a family dinner.
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I judge people for how they organise their receipts. Or don’t.
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My partner gets nervous whenever I say “Can I just ask… what was this for?”
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I've explained what dividends are at least 47 times this year.
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I’ve laughed out loud at accounting memes. Then corrected them.
I automatically say yes please for a receipt regardless of the transaction
Whenever a friend buys me a drink or lunch they sit in my head as creditors as I owe them one back!
I can’t cope if my laptop doesn’t have a separate number pad
When I'm out with self employed friends they always ask me if they can claim it as an expense.
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I keep receipts for things I didn’t even pay for, just out of habit.
Late arrivals at the Accountants' Awards dinner
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The most obvious answer as to why accountants are sometimes referenced, disparagingly, as 'beancounters' might involve counting the ...
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1. You work very odd hours. 2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy. 3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the mo...