Did you ever bend your Butterworths?

I heard a great story recently about the late Philip Hardman (after whom the ICAEW Tax Faculty's annual Hardman event is named).

This story dates back to the days when every tax specialist, team or office would have their own hard copies of what was then Butterworth's Yellow and Orange Tax guides. 

Philip was head of tax for Thornton Baker, before it merged with Alexander Grant to become Grant Thornton.

After a tour of the firm's offices, Philip reported back that he was disappointed by the lack of high level tax work being done around the firm.  His evidence was the number of Butterworth's yellow books that were NOT dog-eared!

The tax teams were later admonished for not referring to the legislation sufficiently often. Back then there was no other way of checking what the law says. 

To avoid repeated criticism the staff apparently found a solution. They would take the yellow and orange books off the shelves and 'bend their Butterworths'!

Goodness only knows how now, in the 21st century anyone can prove they regularly refer to the source tax legislation regularly!

Ten things only financial controllers will understand

 

1. People never really understand what your job really involves
2. The colour scheme on your spreadsheet is actually important
3. It's infuriating when a balance sheet doesn't balance
4. You're wasting our time when you promote stuff to us (as we have no buying authority)
5. Having the auditors on site is a pain in the neck
6. No one wants to know when your cash flow shows no flow
7. Everyone thinks you can help them pay less tax
8. Friends only call when they want financial advice
9. New versions of Excel are really exciting
10. Everything in life can be reduced to debits and credits

When things were more formal than today

Many years ago when accountancy firms were more formal than they are today, the senior partner noticed a new trainee in the office and called out to him, across the older articled clerks:

"Come over here! What's your name young man?" 

"John," the new trainee replied. 

"Look, I don't know where you grew up or what school or colleague you attended, but I don't call anyone by their first name," the senior partner scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority and respect. I refer to all my staff by their last names only: Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever. And you are to refer to me as 'Sir'. Do I make myself clear?" 

"Absolutely sir!" 

"Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?" 

The trainee sighed, "Darling, My name is John Darling, Sir." 

"Okay, Then. Welcome to the firm John.”

Is Dr Who liable to pay UK income tax?

 The Editor in Chief of Taxation magazine speculates on this question in the 14 Jan issue.

He wonders how she would fare under the statutory residence test as she seems to have spent a lot of her time in the UK.

Perhaps in the next series her deadliest enemy could turn out not to be a dalek but someone from HMRC's anti-avoidance unit. 'Dr Who and the follower notice'. You heard it here first.

The answer to the question though is clearly: No, Dr Who is not liable to pay UK income tax.

The character has no permanent home here, was not born here and earns no money here. Plus, and we should keep this in mind, she's a fictional character allegedly from another planet. HMRC have no taxing powers over such people, real or not ;-)

Tax advice for fisherman in 2021

Following Brexit an accountant approached one his clients who was a fisherman.

I can see you floundering as things are being scaled back. I've been herring rumours you may be taking advice from salmon else. What's the reel fishue? 

I know a fintastic plaice to start. Let's close your company down and set you up as a sole trader. I could shoal you why this could be cod for you. It sardinely an op-perch-tuna-ty worth considering.

Notfishstanding the net benefits we don't want HMRC to sea you doing anything fishy. 

Why don't you mullet over. 

I'm here all week....

Dodgy excuses for late filings in 2021

With the tax return filing deadline looming clients should be discouraged from trying any of these excuses for late filings:

1. My tax return is shielding
2. I had to travel to Barnard Castle to check my eye sight before I could read and complete the forms
3. I voted 'Leave' , which includes leaving having to pay taxes
4. I don't believe taxes exist they are a hoax
5. Under the latest regulations travelling to my computer isn't allowed

A dodgy client reacts.....

Last year I saw an anonymous report from an accountant whose client was being interviewed under caution by HMRC. The conversation warrants recording on this blog

HMRC were alleging that the client had been buying ‘childrens’ clothes from a wholesaler who was zero-rating them. But upon inspection, these were quite clearly adult clothes. 

In the first interview, when the client was asked if his business had ever acquired clothing from said wholesaler, he answered "No. Never heard of them".

When presented with photographic evidence of his van entering and leaving the wholesaler’s premises, the client suddenly remembered that he had collected a few samples of clothing from them, but had decided against entering any supply agreement. 

HMRC then presented a further set of photographs that showed the same van in the same warehouse again, seven days later. 

“It was probably to return the faulty clothes!” claimed the client, panicking under the pressure. 

After another two sets of photographs were proffered onto the table, showing a further two weeks worth of evidence, the HMRC officer asked the client for a final time: 

“Has your company ever bought 'childrens’ clothes from the said wholesaler?” 

To which the client replied: “How many more photos have you got?”