What do De Niro, Hoffman, Mr Bean and James Bond have in common with accountants?

Back in 1997 KPMG announced that they were experimenting with product placement of the firm's name in a series of films some of which were to feature the above named stars and characters. (I explained my own consequential walk-on part on Newsnight in a previous post on this blog).

I have just traced a detailed article about the experiment, published in the June/July 1997 issue of CA magazine.

Here are some of the highlights:

It's all part of a product placement plan that will see KPMG's name slotted into 18 movies destined for international release over the next couple of years.

In addition to paying for an appearance on the big screen, KPMG offers movie production companies its offices in 147 countries as locations for shooting. 

KPMG hopes that going to the movies will increase public awareness of its services, boost staff morale and present the company as a hip place to work. "It's a worldwide branding thing with a recruitment spin-off. People are attracted to you when you are in movies with James Bond, Mr Bean and Robert De Niro"

The first movie to feature KPMG will be Shooting Fish, starring Kate Beckinsale, Stuart Townsend and Dan Futterman. In the movie KPMG receives 12 seconds’ worth of promotion as a sponsor of a horse race called the KPMG Challenge Cup.  

In a romantic comedy called The Sea Change, Sean Chapman plays a handsome, dashing and funny KPMG accountant named Rupert Granger. As the lead character he will be a top financial wheeler-dealer working for a very respectable City company which happens to be KPMG. Filming includes KPMG's Salisbury Square offices in London where Rupert's office has a KPMG wall planner, mugs and several other items among the usual office paraphernalia. 

In Wag the Dog, Dustin Hoffman will hand a KPMG coffee mug to Robert De Niro.

A KPMG mug will also appear in a Mr. Bean film.  

The James Bond movie will see KPMG advertised on an airport billboard.  

Various KPMG corporate gifts will feature in The Gingerbread Man, John Grisham’s first-ever screen play, starring Kenneth Branagh and Daryl Hannah.  

KPMG is flexible about the types of films it wants to appear in — to a point. “For example, we wouldn’t place the company in the next Pulp Fiction. We’re not interested in triple-X or hard-core sex films. We also don’t want to be associated with excessive violence. But we’re living in the real world, so swearing is okay when it is in context.”

Popular films remade for accountants (part two)

There are dozens of films about lawyers. Here are some more that could be made about accountants: 

• The Deductibles 
• Mary Profits 
• On Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs Service 
• Kalamazoolander 
• Lady Chatterley's Ledger 
• Raiders of the Lost Audit 
• The Wizard of Audit 
• Book Keeping and the Accountant Kid 
• The Balance of the Lambs 
• Close Encounters of the Accountant's Kind 
• Accounting in the Rain 
• Slumdog Accountant 
• Some Like it in Credit 
• Raiders of the Last Audit 
• The Big Four Strikes Back 
• Auditbusters 
• All the President's Bookkeepers 
• Monty Python and the Accountant's Grail 
• Eternal Sunshine of the Accountant's Mind

Popular films remade for accountants (part one)

There are dozens of films about lawyers. Here are some that could be made about accountants:

• The Accountant of Monte Cristo 
• Honey I Shrunk The Balance sheet 
• Double Entry Indemnity 
• Abacus Now
• Dead profits Society
• Kinky Books
• Trading (Profit and Loss Account) Places 
• The Unbearable Lightness of Being Audited 
• Harry Potter and the Audit of the Phoenix 
• Tax Returns Of The Jedi 
• Debbie Does Double Entry Bookkeeping 
• Abbacus - The Movie 
• The Offshore Shank Redemption

Film: Stranger than fiction

This one's not a joke but it must rank as a fun - A recent film about a tax auditor starring Will Ferrell, Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson. What a bizarre concept!

In the film Will Ferrell plays Harold Crick, a tax auditor who lives an excruciatingly well-planned life. He wakes one day to hear a woman's voice narrating his life and, in one disturbing scene, predicting his death. Crick sets out to find out whether he's mad but ends up on a trail that leads him to writer Karen Eiffel (Emma Thompson) - who, as chance would have it, is writing a book in narrative style about the life of Harold Crick, a tax auditor who lives an excruciatingly well-planned life. With his life in her hands, so to speak, their relationship takes a peculiar twist when Harold learns Eiffel's novel is not to have a happy ending.

Ok - maybe not fun!

In an earlier post last year I listed a number of other films that featured accountants as main characters. Have a guess as to how many are on the list before you check back to see. Please add any others of which you are aware by way of comments. Thanks.

Not another boring accountant

In 1997 I had my first call from the BBC. I was on the phone to someone else when my secretary rushed in to tell me that Newsnight wanted to speak to me.

I decided to take the call. My mind was racing. Could they have become aware of my expertise in advising on the changing basis of taxation and the introduction of self-assessment? Did they need a new media pundit to explain the Chancellor’s tax decisions in the budget. Did they want me to expand on a recent article I’d written in the accountancy press? In a split second I saw myself as a regular TV pundit explaining complex tax issues so that a TV audience could understand them. It never happened!

Apparently that morning there had been a full page feature in one of the broadsheets, as a result of a press release issued by one of the largest firms of accountants. It seems that they were sponsoring a new film in which they had insisted that the lead character would be a chartered accountant, rather than a solicitor. Then, as now, films were more likely to feature sexy solicitors and luscious lawyers rather than the exciting and glamorous life of a chartered accountant.

The producer of Newsnight wanted to do a piece about the prospective film and whether there was any real prospect of chartered accountants being seen as anything other than boring.

I remember asking how the producer had got my name. I found out later that they had phoned the Institute of Chartered Accountants and asked if they had any accountants who weren’t boring. Apparently, the PR people they spoke to immediately thought of someone quite senior. But then concluded that he was boring. The same things happened for the next two senior people they thought of. "Oops, no sorry, he's boring too." So, they gave up but tried to make out that they simply didn't want to be seen to be favouring anyone in particular. They suggested instead that the researcher contact Accountancy Age newspaper. Now, I was well-known to a number of the journalists on Accountancy Age and had been featured on the back cover two or three times with some spurious link between accountancy, tax and magic.

As a result, they passed on my details to the Newsnight producer who thought that I'd be perfect. A successful chartered accountant with a sideline as a bit of a magician. And best of all I wasn't boring!

I'll share the rest of this story on this blog on another occasion.

10 famous films with accountancy related themes

1. Never say never again - An outgoing accountant resolves never again to allow his clients to force him to work crazy hours in January. 
2. 10 things I hate to accrue (starring Heath “Nominal” Ledger) 
3. Schindler’s Listing – A heartbreaking story about Schindler floating his company on the FTSE.
4. Dude! Where’s my FAR? – A comedy about two guys who misplace their Fixed Asset Register. 
5. The Shawshank Exemption – a film about a wrongly convicted banker who helps guards avoid an audit [Bit ironic if you know what it was really about!] 
6. LIFO Pi - An abstract story about an unaccepted accounting estimate stranded on a boat with a tiger.
7. InSSAPtion – A sci-fi blockbuster hit about the implantation of statements of standard accounting practices into one’s subconscious. 
8. Star Wars: Annual Return of the Jedi – Luke Skywalker battles against an evil empire when he discovers they aren’t filing their annual returns with companies house on time. 
9. Accrual intentions – Sarah Michelle Gellar stars as a wealthy teenager taking Reese Witherspoon, a naïve student, under her wing to teach her the accruals concept. 
10. An ACA is born - The senior partner of a large firm, encourages the career of a talented young partner who eventually takes over running the firm

Films that might have been about tax evasion

Film titles adapted to suggest tax evasion related topics:

• Fatal Deduction
• Force Ten Grand from Navarone
• Returns of the Pink Panther 
• Ocean's P11D 
• Shawshank Tax Redemption 
• The Accountant of Monte Cristo 
• The Italian (cash in hand) job 
• Von Ryan's Expenses 
• A Tax Inspector Calls 
• Evasion of the Bodysnatchers 
• Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Tax Evasion But Were Afraid to Ask 
• Friends with Benefits-in-Kind 
• Fiddler on the Roof (ok this one didn't need adapting!)

Any more?

15 shocking things found among clients' paperwork

Accountants have long reported finding the most unexpected items in among the papers that clients send them to prepare accounts and tax returns.

Here's a selection of the 15 most shocking things we have ever heard about:

1. A piece of paper with a username & password for an online dating website and also details about flight times and days he could go to Bangkok.
   
2. The odd maggot or worm stuck to a receipt and a few more live wrigglers at the bottom of the box from a fishing tackle shop.
   
3. A pregnancy test (negative).
   
4. An HIV test result (also negative).
5. A client's topless holiday photos on the same memory stick as her accounting records.
   
6. A set of dentures.
7. Chewing gum (well chewed!)
8. A credit card still attached to the letter and pin number which had never been used.
   
9. A fishmonger's purchase invoices that were covered in fish skin and blood.
10. A flowery card with illegible writing and £50. Not for me as it turned out but the client’s birthday card from his granny.
    
11. A barbie doll's head, nothing else, just the head.  [Transpired it was used as a gear stick topper in the client's car]
12. A used teabag.
13. Some hard porn films in the bottom of a female client’s bag of papers. [Accountant was unsure whether to mention them to the client or not, as they suspected her husband hid them in there!]
    
14. False (finger) nails.
15. Receipts for adult toys and gentlemen's clubs of ill repute.

Top accountant characters in films

The Accountant - Ben Afflek plays a man who uses his disorder to balance books for criminals.

The Apartment - Jack Lemmon's character CC Baxter introduces himself: "I work on the 19th floor. Ordinary Policy Department, Premium Accounting Division, Section W, desk number 861." 

The Closet - French superstar Daniel Autueil plays an accountant who pretends to be gay to keep his job in a condom factory. 

Dave - Charles Grodin plays the president's accountant and solves the budget deficit in one overnight session, leaving the White House at dawn in his prudent small car. 

Erotica - the lead character is a bearded and gentlemanly accountant who gets increasingly hung up on a sneaky lap dancer whom he is forbidden to touch. 

Ghostbusters - Rick Moranis is an accountant who, although possessed by evil spirits, asks who does monstrous Sigourney Weaver's tax return. 

Hitch - Kevin James plays tax accountant Albert Brennaman, who woos and wins Amber Valletta just by being his booty-shaking, inhaler-snorting, passionate self. 

Jurassic Park - a weasel accountant spurns Jeff Goldblum's advice and gets devoured by a dinosaur. 

Local hero - Denis Lawson plays Gordon Urquhart, the hotel proprietor who is also the local accountant trusted to meet with the locals on behalf of a Texas oil company that wants to purchase the Scottish fishing village.

Midnight Run - Charles Grodin again. Here he plays an accountant who steals from the rich and gives to the poor . Robert De Niro tracks him down when Grodin jumps bail. 

The Producers - In the original film Zero Mostel ropes accountant Gene Wilder into collaborating with him on a scheme to rip off old ladies. In the remake Nathan Lane persuades Matthew Broderick to abandon his accountancy career in favour of becoming a theatrical producer. 

The Royal Tenenbaums - Danny Glover plays accountant Henry Sherman, Angelica Huston's dependable second husband. 

Schindler's List - Ben Kingsley's bespectacled accountant helps save lives. 

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty - Danny Kaye stars as a day-dreaming beancounter. 

The Sea Change - Sean Chapman was to have played a 'handsome, dashing and funny KPMG accountant named Rupert Granger.' The script was later revised to make him a banker - but the original idea led to me being interviewed and performing a magic trick on BBC's Newsnight TV programme.

Shallow Grave - Christopher Eccleston played chartered accountant David Stephens who gets drawn into the grisly goings-on in a shared Edinburgh flat. 

She Devil - Ed Begley Jr plays a sleazeball accountant upon whom Rosanne Barr wreaks a hideous revenge. 

The Untouchables - Charles Martin Smith plays accountant Oscar Wallace and conceives the idea of nabbing Al Capone for tax evasion. 

Popular films remade especially for accountants

Harry Potter and the Audit of the Phoenix
Tango and Cash Flow
The Da Vinci Account Code, and the sequel: The de minimus code
Accountantz
Friends with Benefits in Kind
The Expensedeductibles
Men in the black
28 days calculator
Depreciation Impact
Indiana Jones And The Ledgers Of Doom
Dude where's my Calculator?
Budget Jones' Diary
Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore... at least not on paper
The Deductible Hulk

Any more?

Accounting films #MakeAfilmAccounting

Following the hashtag #MakeAfilmAccounting on twitter revealed the following fun suggestions:

A long time ago in an accountant’s office far, far away…was the movie: The Annual Return of the Jedi
@sageuk

Mad Tax
@Muffhouse

The classic accounting tale of a man falsely imprisoned – The Accountant of Monte Cristo
@sageuk

 Up close and personal tax
@mrjoemcfadden

The Shawshank Tax Redemption
@sageuk

 In a world where everyone is an accountant, you should watch the 50's tax classic, Rebel Without a Clause
@sageuk

Vatman returns
@bookmarklee

 Love Actuarilly
@sageuk

 Saving Mr Bankrupt
 @EarlGreyDecaf

The Accountant of Monte Cristo
@sageNAmerica

Tax Driver
@sageNAmerica

Raiders of the profit and loss ark
@sageNAmerica

Cashablanca
@sageNAmerica

The accountant (actor) at number 39 on the Top 50 financial power list

This year's tongue in cheek entry on Accountancy Age's annual Top 50 Financial power list 2015:

39 (New Entry) Ben Affleck, actor Can Ben Affleck succeed where Jason Donovan failed? The public perception of an a-typical accountant looks set to get a serious make-over with the latex-clad Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice thespian reputedly signing up for the lead in a film called...you guessed it...The Accountant.  

The broad concept of the movie is about a man who juggles the twin perils of GAAP by day, and the less taxing demands of being a high-class assassin by night. So can Affleck and screenwriter Bill Dubuque paint the profession in a sophisticated light akin to that of the legal profession? Previous attempts, including an accounting drama starring the aforementioned Donovan, were met with limited success.

Jason's drama featured on this fun blog four years ago. I'm also reminded of KPMG's efforts, back in 1997, to have the lead characters in dramatic films be accountants rather than lawyers.

Famous classic films remade especially for accountants

Star Wars: Tax Return of the Jedi

Double Entry Indemnity, shown with: Double Insolvency

Journal to the Centre of the Earth

Abridged Too Far

Audit About Eve, and the follow up: Auditors of the Lost Ark

Trial balance of the century

VAT on a Hot Tin Roof

Evasion of the income snatchers

Far From the Adding Crowd

The Returns Of The Pink Panther

The Jungle Bookkeeper

Close enough encounters

Indiana Jones And The Ledgers Of Doom

Fatal subtraction, and the sequel: Fatal deduction

Not another boring accountant (part two)

I explained how and why I came to appear on Newsnight in a previous posting.

My actual TV slot comprised a very short magic trick (the self assessment pom pom stick) followed by me entering into the spirit of things, by being shown 'magically' changing from one outfit to another.. The idea was to provide examples to match the voice over - If not a magician then what next for the chartered accountant in films? So, through the wonders of television, as they say, they showed me magically transforming into a mad scientist then a James Bond style secret agent and finally a gumshoe detective.

At the end I recall Peter Snow, who hadn't seen what we filmed, started his subsequent interview by saying. Of course, not all accountants are as entertaining as Mark Lee. How kind!

Stranger than Fiction

This one's not a joke but it still qualifies for inclusion on this blog: - A film about a tax auditor starring Will Ferrell, Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson. It is called Stranger than fiction!

In the film Will Ferrell plays Harold Crick, a tax auditor who lives an excruciatingly well-planned life. He wakes one day to hear a woman's voice narrating his life and, in one disturbing scene, predicting his death. Crick sets out to find out whether he's mad but ends up on a trail that leads him to writer Karen Eiffel (Emma Thompson) - who, as chance would have it, is writing a book in narrative style about the life of Harold Crick, a tax auditor who lives an excruciatingly well-planned life. With his life in her hands, so to speak, their relationship takes a peculiar twist when Harold learns Eiffel's novel is not to have a happy ending.

In an earlier post I listed a number of other films that featured accountants as main characters. Have a guess as to how many are on the list before you check back to see. Please add any others of which you are aware by way of comments. Thanks.

10 more popular films with accountancy related themes

1. Minority audit report – In a future where a special audit unit is able to establish whether accounts are true and fair before they start their fieldwork, an officer from that unit is himself accused of a future fraud. 
2. File Hard with a vengeance - A tax adviser gets a little carried away when he can't access the Companies House portal he uses to submit annual accounts. 
3. The Signing – An auditor becomes possessed while on an away job in an isolated hotel where an evil and spiritual presence influences the RI, while his audit team sees horrific forebodings from the past and of the future. 
4.  Final estimation – a group of young auditors try and fail to escape death after miscalculating depreciation charges. 
5. The Accountant - Chaos ensues when an efficient accountant who is a bit too focused on his work forgets to keep track of his time and which client should pay the bills. 
6. ACA Ventura: PET detective – Jim Carrey stars as a personal tax accountant who goes in search of a dolphin gifted as a potentially exempt transfer for inheritance tax purposes. 
7. Accrual Runnings – a team of Jamaican accountants with absolutely no knowledge of UKGAAP come to the UK and set up as an audit firm. Hilarity ensues. 
8. SA SA Land - a musical imagining of what would happen if everyone filed their SA tax returns with a smile each year 
9. Home A-Loan – an incredibly boring film about a child trying to get a mortgage but failing because he’s too young. 
10. Groundhog day - An outgoing accountant resolves never again to allow his clients to force him to work crazy hours in January.

Lockdown lingo for accountants

Blue Skype thinking

An accountancy firm's brainstorming session which takes place over a videoconferencing app. Such meetings might also be termed a “Zoomposium”. 

Coronadose

An overdose of bad news about clients during a time of crisis. Can result in a “panicdemic”.

The elephant in the Zoom

The glaring issue during a videoconferencing call that nobody feels able to mention. Typically either a colleague who has dramatically put on weight, suddenly sprouted terrible facial hair or has a worryingly messy house visible in the background.

Quentin Quarantino

A furloughed junior staff member who is using their time in lockdown to make amateur films which they’re convinced are funnier and cleverer than they actually are.

Covidiot

A colleague or client who ignores public health advice or behaves with reckless disregard for the safety of others can be said to display “covidiocy” or be “covidiotic”. Also called a “lockclown”.

Antisocial distancing

Using health precautions as an excuse for avoiding any contact with colleagues you find irritating.

Tandemic

How you describe the consequence of your colleagues acquiring a sun-kissed glow from working at home in their gardens.

Doom ’n’ Zoom

The feeling spread by the a miserable or pessimistic colleague in a videoconference, aka the “Zoommonger”.

Fattening the curve

The weight that all accountants are gaining from comfort-eating and comfort-drinking.