Bizarre things audit clients have said...

“The prepayment hasn’t actually been paid yet, but it’s going to be.”
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“Are you sure you’re old enough to be here?”
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“We’ll fix it before the internal auditors find out.”
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“Well, I don’t agree with GAAP.”
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“As I said, this is not material.”
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So I need to know exactly what you mean when you say ‘general ledger’
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“Ah, my colleague is pretty useless, good luck getting anything back from him.”
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“The fact that there’s an entry means it’s approved. Why do you need support?”
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“Why do I need to document the process when I can just explain the process to my team?”
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"Do we really NEED to have someone authorising the payments?"
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“It’s correct. Don’t even worry about it.”
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“I hope we don’t see you until the end of the year... and I mean that in the nicest way.”
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“I know this entry was wrong, but I wanted you to find it.”
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"There can’t be evidence for every number."
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“Why do you need this for exactly?” [repeatedly, in response to every request for anything]
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“Oh, I thought goodwill meant charity expenses.”
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“Here is the list of unrecorded liabilities.”
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“Can’t you just select these easy samples for vouching?”
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“We don’t have the support for that entry because the person responsible has left the company.”
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Originally collated and shared by the twitter account @overheardaudit