20 years ago when Andersens went into Deloitte

Some firms merge. 

Sometimes one firm acquires the other. 

Sometimes this is referred to as a takeover. 

 Twenty years ago in 2002 when Andersens went into Deloitte, the words 'merger', 'acquisition' and 'takeover' were all banned. 

Instead staff and partners were instructed that the correct and only word to use was simply, the 'transaction'. 

Perhaps this was to avoid references to my long preferred description of so many such 'transactions' as a mergeover.

Ten more puns for accountants

1. Immature accountants don’t act their wage.
2. Accountants don’t retire, they just close the books.
3. Accountants are like gymnasts as they need to be good at finding their balance.
4. Stoic accountants have good internal controls.
5. Accountants like working in glass offices because transparency is important.
6. My accountant's pre-tax income is gross.
7. Accountants quit when they lose interest.
8. Accounting can be accrual profession.
9. Some accountants have great figures.
10. Every accountant counts.

Six riddles about accountants

 What disease kills more accountants than any other?

- TB. 

What do you call an accountant or who can't account? 

- An ant. 

What do cannibal accountants do at their Office Christmas Dinner? 

- Toast their clients.

Where do accountants live? 

- In tax shelters. 

Why do so many accountants fall over? 

- They lose their balance.

What do you call a Trial Balance that doesn't balance? 

- A late night.

Do Accountants' laugh?

"Do accountants laugh?" was a question posed online by top Comedy Magician, John Archer (runner up in BGT 2019) ahead of performing at a gig for accountants.

Among the replies he received were:

• It depends on their clients
• Only where they lose their balance
• When it's at someones else's expense
• Yes, when their balance sheet balances
• As soon as you pay their bill