Why accountants' friends don't understand them

1. The colour scheme on your spreadsheet is actually important
2. It's infuriating when a balance sheet doesn't balance
3. They believe tax season only lasts a week
4. No one wants to know when your cash flow shows no flow
5. Everyone thinks you can help them pay less tax
6. They only call when they want tax advice
7. New versions of Excel are really exciting
8. "Variance analysis" sounds like a psychological condition
9. Everything in life can be reduced to debits and credits
10. They think "fiscal year" is just a typo for "physical year"
11. "Amortisation" sounds like a spell from Harry Potter
12. They think "FIFO" and "LIFO" are new dance moves