An auditor is a man who watches the battle from the safety of the hills and then comes down to bayonet the wounded.
Sir Charles Lyell, 1797 - 1875, American accountant.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
More quotes
“I never ask my accountants to help me to make a decision. I rely on my gut feeling and then call in the accountants to make it work.”
Richard Branson
"When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of the mess I am in now, he thought for a long time.... "yes" he said. "Death would help."
Robert Morley
Previous quotes on this blog can be found here, here and here
Richard Branson
"When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of the mess I am in now, he thought for a long time.... "yes" he said. "Death would help."
Robert Morley
Previous quotes on this blog can be found here, here and here
Monday, August 25, 2008
Black Books - Cooking the Books
I've only recently heard of the Black Books 'sit com' that was first broadcast almost 8 years ago in September 2000.
In the first episode we are introduced to Bernard, the alcoholic Irish book shop owner. But, Bernard has a problem. His taxes need doing, he's mathematically illiterate, and there's no avoiding it.
Here's a short (100 second) extract where Bernard attempts to complete his self assessment tax return without any help:
If you want the full 5 minute clip, it's worth it for the other things he does to avoid doing his tax return and especially for the final 10 seconds.
In the first episode we are introduced to Bernard, the alcoholic Irish book shop owner. But, Bernard has a problem. His taxes need doing, he's mathematically illiterate, and there's no avoiding it.
Here's a short (100 second) extract where Bernard attempts to complete his self assessment tax return without any help:
If you want the full 5 minute clip, it's worth it for the other things he does to avoid doing his tax return and especially for the final 10 seconds.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
The Taxes Song
This seems to be a 'serious' question posed during a CNN Democratic candidate debate:
Monday, August 18, 2008
The Chancellor's dance
I think we've all seen this one too many times now.
In this new dance craze, the Chancellor's Excuse Me - you follow Gordon and Alastair and take one step forward, two steps back, then sidestep the issue.
In this new dance craze, the Chancellor's Excuse Me - you follow Gordon and Alastair and take one step forward, two steps back, then sidestep the issue.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
What matters most?
Not sure if this counts as funny or sad.
Last year Kevin Slevin shared with me his experience of the approach that many small firms of accountants adopt when seeking good tax advice:
Last year Kevin Slevin shared with me his experience of the approach that many small firms of accountants adopt when seeking good tax advice:
STEP ONE Ask a number of providers what the advice will costSTEP TWO Pick the cheapest providerSTEP THREE Hope the advice received is correct.
Sometimes it works!!
Friday, August 01, 2008
Euphemisms for the taxman
I've just come across this one which is sadly out of date now:
Infernal Robbin youAny more?
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