- Yes, my fees could be lower if you pay me in cash
- Yes, I'll find a way to justify all those supermarket receipts in your accounts
- Sure you can pay me less because you ignored my advice on how to make more profits
- HMRC have no problem with retrospective tax planning
- Your tax return only took me 5 minutes to do
- I love working from carrier bags full of clients' paperwork
- I have decided not to charge you anything this year
- The taxman will give up once he knows I'm representing you
- Don't worry about getting receipts
- Yes, we can rewrite the past and pretend you did things that you didn't really do
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